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Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Smart Choice campaign slides into bitterness

Hillary Clinton's nationwide campaign on behalf of Smart Choice margarine, to raise money for a possible run for the presidency in 2012, has run into well researched criticism.

Yesterday, the consumer watchdog Not On The Face revealed that the Smart Choice tag line, "I can't believe it's not bitter", does not match the facts.

After a year of research, Not On the Face concluded that Smart Choice is, in fact, quite bitter.

"Nonsense!" said Clinton associate Hillary Clinton. "That's just the kind of attacks we've come to expect. But the American people are still buying it. They don't need a bunch of experts to tell them what to think. They know that Smart Choice will help them achieve their goals, which is why I'm proud to fight for this product."

This reporter performed an informal survey of her own, offering a random selection of shoppers at a local supermarket samples of Smart Choice on unsalted crackers. Despite clear signs of discomfort with the flavor, many people insisted it was not bitter and that what upset them was the imputation that it was.

"I just don't like some big-city researcher coming in here and telling us it's bitter," said Olive Patoineczs, expressing what seemed to be common feeling. "I've seen what they offer, funny-colored margarine with a weird foreign name."

"We don't need no other brand. This one is just fine," offered Mic Sandwin after washing down the sample with a full bottle of Blu-Vida-Wada. "I'd call it milk and honey, peaches and cream, I'd eat it straight for breakfast lunch and dinner. 'Cause I would never like anything different. I'm proud to be what I am, and forgive me for acting like it."

Smart Choice has been forced by the report to cancel most of its advertising, but company rep Hillary Clinton is continuing with her scheduled appearances.

"This product isn't going away, and neither am I. It's a question of fairness to make sure everyone in America has a chance to say with me: 'Yes! it's not bitter.'"

"But it is," concluded Chas Fickling of Not On The Face. "There are better choices out there, ones that are really what they claim to be."

"Good riddance!" said one shopper in this reporter's survey. "It'll be a great day when Smart Choice is no longer on the shelves and we can stop pretending it was so great."