Children's Crusade To Save Iraq
After showing their support for President George W. Bush by electing him to a second term, voters didn't stop there.
Recognizing how bountifully their own lives have been blessed, many of them are eager to help their commander-in-chief beyond simply sending their children to fight in Iraq. They are going there themselves.
And they're taking their pick-up trucks and SUVs with them.
"As deer season started up, we realized we were as well armed and trained -- probably better -- than any muslim insurgent. And our SUVs are the envy of the world," said Pat Minson, crusade organizer for the Oklahoma panhandle.
"It was simple, really," he continued. "We just started approaching every vehicle that had a yellow magnetic ribbon on it. We told them about the crusade to save Iraq's children and how they could help, and to a man they were eager to make the sacrifice so their grandchildren can live in a world of peace. It just snowballed and here we are."
Of course there are critics. Garret Bing, an historian at Puster Community College, finds the name of the campaign chilling. "There was a children's crusade in the middle ages, in which thousands of children died because of the vain ambitions of the pope."
Pat Minson dismisses such criticism as irrelevant. "This is today," he said, "and we're not children. And we certainly aren't listening to any pope."
According to Moira Brack, psychologist at Puster Correctional Institute, they are like children. "They say it's for the children, but it's for themselves. They aren't saving Iraq. Iraq stands for all the contradictions and disorder and failures of our own lives. They have to conquer it, destroy it, in an infantile belief that things will then somehow be better in their own families."
Minson: "I think Ms. Brack has some issues of her own which prevents her from respecting people who believe in something. Maybe she should be scared, because we're going to win this one, and then she'll thank us."
From your mouth to God's ear, Pat!