Bush Mocks Osama bin Laden

In a speech to a division of the CIA yesterday, U.S. President George W. Bush mocked al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden:

"What this man who grew up in wealth and privilege considers good for poor Muslims is that they become killers and suicide bombers. He assures them that this is the road to paradise -- though he never offers to go along for the ride."

Bush's speech was delivered as U.S. forces were attempting to recapture three towns in Iraq. Bush regretted not being able to lead the attacks, but cited the demands of continuing brush problems at his home in Crawford, Texas.

Mr. bin Laden was unavailable for comment, but spokesman Scott Mclelland expressed gratitude to Mr. Bush for sparing his life and removing Saddam Hussein from power in Iraq, allowing the establishment of al Qaeda in that crucial region.