Wind Energy Lobbyist Killed

Tim Grake, communications director of the American Wind Power Association (AWPA), was killed last night by a hit-and-run driver.

Grake was returning home on his nightly jog around the block, when he was hit by the unknown vehicle. There were no witnesses. Grake was apparently able to drag himself into his yard but collapsed by a hedge, where he was discovered the next morning by the paperboy. By that time, he had died.

His wife of 22 years was not unduly disturbed. "People die every day," she said. "Tim's death by this unavoidable accident is a microscopic blip. We need cars, and they go fast, so we have to accept a certain number of fatalities."

Many neighbors agreed with her. "I liked Tim, he was a good man, but there's more than six billion people on the earth, and it's not at all a biologically significant loss," said Val Markus, who has lived next door to the Grakes for three years.

The executive director of the AWPA, Ronnie Twitchell, issued a statement regretting the loss of any life but taking comfort that Grake died while serving a cause greater than himself: "Building industrial wind power facilities is more important than anything," his statement read. "Even more people will die if we don't get our way immediately, and I don't think anyone wants that."

Police see no need to investigate the incident.