In new video, "bin Laden" calls on U.S. to bomb Iran
Faced with widespread doubt about the wisdom of attacking Iran, the White House today unveiled a new video starring their "Osama bin Laden" character.
Although previous productions have shown "bin Laden" as deteriorating in health and withering with age, the new video shows him robust and looking younger. The White House publicity department said this was necessary to recharge the fear of terrorism that is necessary for spreading democracy.
The potentially more threatening "bin Laden" of this latest video production, however, encourages the U.S. to stop the spreading influence of revolutionary Iran.
Listing examples of the leftist ideology of Iran's president Ahmadinejab, "bin Laden" praises all religious, both Christian and Muslim, resistance to "Shiite fascism" and the "idols of false hope and security".
President Bush's publicist stated, "that although it pains the president to agree with a murderous delusional madman, this 'bin Laden' is right that we can no longer tolerate Iran's predations that threaten peace and freedom everywhere."
She continued, "We also urge the Iranian people to spurn the superstitious cult of their leaders and embrace true religion. Of course our greatest wish is that they will invite us into their living rooms and marketplaces peacefully, but let there be no doubt that we will bomb our way in if necessary to protect our freedom."